The truth

There comes a time in everyones life when the truth must be told, so a list....weather others see it as true or not is not the point, it is sometimes what we see that matters. And a question, does what we see affect who we are?

I am cruel(i can be...very much so)
I am difficult to live with(as my step mother recently agreed with...I guess it's true though)
I am hard to love, and even unloveable
people do not always beleive that I am true when I say I love you(they are not wasted words to me, so this one hurts)
I am a bitch...
I am sweet, even with all of these...there's some part that is still pure
I am adventureous
I can be dangerous
I seek danger
I am mildly pretty, but only rarely
I am scared of becoming...almost anything
I see no worth in myself
I am inntelligent, if only in small things
I am ambitious
I am crazy
I am a daughter(though be it, not always a good one...often times a terrible one)
I am a sister
I am a photographer, though not a very good one
I am an artist
I am a student, but a very very very bad one
I am the girlfriend of an awesome guy(but i don't understand what he sees)
I am impatient, stubborn, jelous and sometimes mean...I also can be snoopy
I am not honorable, not "good" at anything and hard to deal with....
I am quiet...my words are not worth hearing
I am scared of living, and terrified of dying(to think it used to be oppisite)
I write, but i wonder if my written words are worth hearing either...so i rarely write anymore...


So, how do you change the bad and embrace the good...how do you survive...and is there any chance of becoming better....I guess this is not only how i see myself, but how i often expect others to see me...I am nothing special, I am nothing worth fighting for, and I am most times too hard on everyone around me, and even cruel...I'm sorry...if anything can be said for my actions, I AM sorry, I DO try...i try to be good....in the end, I shall always fail though...i fear