Don't blame me for being pissed...I have every right...and yet, I'm apologizing. I'm sorry sorry sorry for being so inconsiderate and hanging up on you...I am pathetic, I know*sigh*

So, to back up. Yesterday SUCKED. I think I have been called c***, bitch, uncarring, too stuck in my own world, and a drama queen...among other things*laughs* funny thing, it was over a trip to the mall, being canceled on AGAIN and feeling like shit. sometimes...sometimes I wonder if it's worth it. If a longstanding friendship should just be walked away from. I don't get close to people easily, and I always try to be available. I try to throw my life onto the backburner and not give a shit about my own world...I hold back the tears and complaints until i cna't anymore, or i try to. I know I'm not everything that is ideal...I know i can be vain and self involved...I try not to be. I do*sigh* and I'm explaining this here*laughs. So, my bff and I decided to hang out, I decided to bring jeff, told her, she canceled(which everytime i try to hang out she cancels.) So, whatever. What makes it worse is i hung up, not understanding and just upset. But Jeff and I went out, which was fun! so it was mostly all good. Family bq was okay(i was in a crappy mood, so it wasn't as good as it should have been...and i get jelous too*sigh) so, then got home, wrote an apoligy(after reading where i was publically called a large number of things and told to get a life) to said person. Reaceived an apoligy that was laced in vinigar. was told how much said person dislikes my bf even though said person has never met him and has very little to go off of. Should I point out that the reason his his joblessness(which he's looking) and that said person was without a job for several months as well!
It dosn't matter...just kindof sums up the day. SO! onto happy news, my father has agreed to keep a puppy. Not the rollypolly(you know, If i got her, i might call her that. rollypoly! sounds awesoem!) which i found out yesterday. That was exciting. I think her name is molly. im in better spirits. Jeff and I played lots of settlers of catan last night, which was fun...So I guess, you take the good with the bad...the worst thing though, or maybe the best depending on your veiw is now....now i keep wondering if i am too self involved, too much in my own life, uncarring and such....if I'm just a bitch and whatever else who only gives a shit about herself...but I know the last isn't true....least, I thought i did...